If I am truly made in god’s image then does that mean god is also a fat, alcoholic that ain’t nobody trying to fuck?

Is that why he keeps throwing hurricanes at gay people? Is he jealous because they be fucking?

If I am made in god’s image then does that mean god is a loner who gets infuriated every time his phone buzzes?

Is that why he keeps making more and more rich people who supposedly will have a hard time getting into heaven?

Does he think that’s the only way to get people to stop showing up so he can finally get some peace and quiet?

If I am made in god’s image then does that mean god also can’t figure out how to reset the clock on his microwave?

If I am truly made in god’s image then wouldn’t that mean god doesn’t believe in himself?

Does he hate what he sees in the bathroom mirror?

Does he feel like ending it all? Does he fantasize about getting T-boned by a truck?

If I am made in god’s image then why are guitar players more popular than bass players?

If I am made in god’s image then does that mean god is unable to maintain eye contact?

Does he silently pray, to himself I guess, that no one will notice he’s just staring at their foreheads?

Does he hide trembling hands in his pockets?

Does the hair on the back of his neck stand up when he hears his own name because he’s still a scared little boy who thinks he’s in trouble?

Does he fight back a dry-heave when someone tries to tell him he’s done good?

Does he refuse to ask anyone for help? Is he really trying to go it all alone? Is that why everything is so fucked up right now?

If I am truly made in god’s image then why does god keep punishing the meek instead of punishing himself?

Why can’t women get healthcare?

Why can’t trans people just take a piss in peace?

Why can’t everyone have healthcare?

Why is the minimum wage so god damn low if the rent is so god damn high?

Why do saints like teachers and nurses struggle paycheck to paycheck?

Why do families throw their queer kids out into the street?

Why do cops get to murder with qualified immunity?

Why are Palestinians lining up for aid and getting bullets instead?

Why did Flint’s water turn to poison and all I can do about it is drink more wine?

Why do they take children away from refugee parents and throw them in cages?

Why do so many poor people have to fight and die to gather wealth for so few billionaires?

If I am truly made in the image of the man who does all this then wouldn’t that make me a miserable bastard?